Siji Loto

Mind & Pen on Fire

26 Lessons Learned on the Way to 26

I turned 26 two days ago. I decided to write down 26 key lessons that that I’ve learned in my short life. Stay blessed!!

1★ People don’t really care that much about you. I don’t care how popular you are. When you’re gone, within a matter of months people will forget you. Living your life to please people (who don’t really give a heck about you) is an absolute waste of time. I can’t emphasize this enough.

2★ You will live with yourself till you hit the grave. Learn to enjoy your company. How do you want to truly love other people when you hate yourself? Freedom is being comfortable in your own skin.

3★ Your identity should be rooted in something non-changing and eternal – in Christ. You need to remind yourself who you are every day of your life or the world will tell you who you are.

4★ Staying in a bad relationship because you’re scared that you’ll be single forever is a tremendously terrible idea. The hurt you’ll endure + the regret you’ll feel that you missed out on a good relationship (that may have happened if you were still single) will feel much worse.

5★ Prepare for marriage before you even start dating. Its amazing how some people look at me weird when they see me read a marriage book because I’m not ‘getting married soon’. They think that they’ll have enough time to prepare. We tend to overestimate the time we think we’ll have in the future to accomplish things. But life surprises you, before you’ll know it, you’re engaged to someone with barely any time left to prepare for a LIFE LONG commitment.

6★ Don’t be in a relationship where the person doesn’t appreciate your weirdness, uniqueness, talents and gifts etc. It will frustrate your soul because you won’t have the complete confidence to be who you are and pursue your calling.

7★ Fight for your friendships. Our generation is drunk on friendship and date options (especially via apps) yet we’re relationally shallow. We like convenient relationships. When things get messy (AS ALL FREAKING RELATIONSHIPS DO) we run away for a ‘better option’. Don’t be lazy. Go out. Meet up with people. Share your heart honestly with them. Hold them tight in their struggles. Guard their secrets. Don’t run away when it gets messy. Painful? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely!!

8★ We are all broken people in the hands of a powerful, loving and good God.

9★ People don’t have a hard time with God’s existence as they do with His goodness, especially in the presence of suffering and evil.

10★ How you say the truth matters as much the truth you’re saying. Ignorant & arrogant people think they can say the truth callously because after all, all that matters is saying truth. Wise people say the truth in love which brings repentance and transformation. Sometimes there is too much truth in the world and not enough understanding.

11★ You’re either actively transforming or passively conforming. There’s no middle ground.

12★ Before you judge people or get mad at them try to remember that they broken people like you, who have a story that has made them the way they are.

13★ You’ll regret the things you didn’t do far more than the things you did that happened to fail. You think short-term fear is bad? Long-term regret is worse. Go chat with some people in an elderly home.

14★ People are more driven by their affections/desires + what they believe gives their lives meaning more than they’re driven by their logic and reason. Set/Train your affections on the right things.

15★ Embrace your sexuality. Its part of what makes you human. Yes. To be sexual is to be human. Don’t demonise your sexuality. Refusing to embrace (or demonising) your sexuality leads to shame. Shame leads to all kinds of sexual addictive behaviours. There is a monumental difference between embracing your sexuality + taking responsibility for it and being controlled by your sexual impulses. Wise people know the difference. Its what separates us from other animals in the wild.

16★ Read voraciously and promiscuously. Reading helps build your empathy for people of different genders, cultures, backgrounds, religions etc. Reading helps see what paths to take or to avoid. “Fools learn from experience. I prefer to learn from the experience of others.” ― Otto von Bismarck.

17★ Kindness and tenderness are powerful weapons against evil and injustice. These virtues never grow old or irrelevant.

18★ Even in your deepest darkness God is with you. He’s beside you in the midst of your struggle. Jesus experienced your struggles as a human not just as God. He gets what it’s like to be you.

19★ Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. ― Henry Ford

20★ Feelings and emotions are not evil. God created them because He has them. God wants to connect with you through your emotions.  And God wants to connect with you through your brokenness.

21★ This too shall pass. Your present situation may be dire. But remind yourself that this is only temporary and it shall pass. It will get better.

22★ Pray unceasingly, passionately, vigilantly, fervently for your leaders, yourself and the world around you.

23★ Life is short and you will die. It’s better to lose your life than waste it.

24★ Many single people (who haven’t dated in long time) worry that they’re ‘missing out’ if they aren’t dating. But many ‘dating or married people’ aren’t worried that they’re missing out on building a healthy single life. You need to talk to some divorced people to get some perspective.

25★ God wants to use our weakness as much as He wants to use our strengths. But most of us prefer if God uses our strengths rather than our weaknesses. God wants to use both.

26★ If you live gladly to make others glad in God, your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full — John Piper


Photo by Mathyas Kurmann on Unsplash

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1 Comment

  1. Jahmella Robinson November 7, 2018

    Fantastic post. Number 11 is my fave!

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